The Rulebook of Sex

The social concept of sex varies by cultures. There are as many opinions about sex as there are people. No matter how many people I talked to, there was always another side to the story. For generations, in many cultures such as Armenian, Persian or similar others, the belief and the tradition was not to have sex before marriage. That tradition applied mainly to the female side of the population. I wanted to take that traditional concept and ask men as well as women about their thought regarding this subject and see if they had any comments or problems on the matter.

I must say I had fun conducting this discreet experiment. I realized that young people of both sexes brought up their parents or grandparents in to the matter. It seemed like most considered the tradition of no sex until marriage, as something that was imbedded in them by parents and the society they grew up in. Which raises a question… how valid is that concept today?

To answer that question, I decided to address the issue in a slightly different matter. I started to consider not just the age of the person I was interviewing, but also their previous experiences and social status. People that experienced failed relationships agree, for the most part, that sex before marriage is a good way of finding out the chemistry between the two sexes. It was emphasized that sex plays a great if not the most important role in relationships; therefore good sex leads to more successful and fruitful unions and families. And if that’s the argument, then why do so many cultures consider premarital sex a taboo?

The answer lies further than we may think. Let’s forget for a moment that by having premarital sex can be risky on many levels, and I’m sure there is no need to list all of them; however sex touches people on a moral and emotional level. The want versus that little voice inside your head called conscience often disagree with one another. So who or what should we listen? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Unlike our generation, our parents, grandparents and ancestors followed religion and religious believes much closer than us. According to the bible, premarital sex was considered fornication, a sin that diminished purity of ones morality and self being. However bible also mentions that sex was given to men kind to re-create and not for recreation even after marriage.

We’ve changed, and the concept of a happy life changed as well. But ask yourself a question; is there such a thing as a rulebook for happiness, or do we write one ourselves? In the end it all comes down to individual morals, consciousness and judgment.